My birth story: Welcome to the world, Ruby

As I write this, I look at my beautiful baby girl, Ruby, 4 and a half months old now and wonder how I got so lucky. She’s my absolute world and I would do it all over again for her because it really is a love I didn’t know was possible.

I look back at my overall pregnancy and birth as a positive experience, however, it is only one experience and no two stories should ever be compared. I’m so proud of myself and that is exactly how every single mum should feel - we are truly extraordinary.

"I will forever love my body for what it is today, stretchmarks and all, as it delivered me my gorgeous girl."

Pregnancy

We found out we were expecting Ruby on Christmas Day of 2021. It was a lovely surprise after two months of trying and spending most of the year preparing my body for this journey. The first indication that I may have been pregnant was noticing the blue veins in my breasts becoming very prominent. I also had a consistent period, so when it didn’t start like expected I knew something exciting could be ahead and I took a test the next day. When we found out, I was 3 weeks pregnant.

I was fortunate to have a straightforward and enjoyable pregnancy, with only one significant concern needing monitoring. Due to my thalassemia, an inherited blood disorder that causes my body to have less hemoglobin than normal, my hemoglobin levels during pregnancy were extra low. This meant that I needed regular blood tests to ensure my hemoglobin didn’t drop too low, which could affect the growth of our baby and require me to have a blood transfusion. This type of news so early in my pregnancy was worrying, however, with the support of my hematologist we managed it perfectly and I’m lucky to say that no further intervention was required.

Overall I loved my pregnancy, my symptoms were minimal with mild nausea and pelvic pain during my first trimester, food aversions and cravings throughout the second trimester and significate exhaustion by the third trimester. With each flutter and kick, I cherished each moment of my belly growing and I will forever love my body for what it is today, stretchmarks and all, as it delivered me my gorgeous girl.

Labour How do you plan for something that is so out of your control? Educate yourself, understand your choices and prepare for everything. I chose to educate myself by investing in a 1:1 firstimer class with Midwife and Lactation Consultant, Amber from Body, Birth & Baby. This class covered everything from labour and birth preparation to breastfeeding and preparing for postpartum. It gave me and my partner insight into what was truly ahead, how to plan for the unknown and, most importantly, how to feel empowered to make decisions and trust my body to do what was needed. With this knowledge, I created my ideal birth plan with the intention to be clear on what I wanted but open to being guided in the moment for a successful birth. At 37+4 I started to experience braxton hicks and consistent period-like cramps. I didn’t think much of it at the time and it was only after birth that I realised it was my body preparing itself. On Monday night at 38+1, my waters broke at home at 5.20 pm. I had just been to the toilet to pee and when I got back to the couch I said to myself naively ’oh, I think I’m still peeing’, and I rushed back to the toilet and quickly realised that my waters had broken. There was no big gush like you see in the movies, it was just a slow and consistent leak. Before calling the hospital, I called my partner Patty who was on his way home from work to let him know. At this time I wasn’t experiencing any contractions just the same period-like cramps. At 6.00 pm we headed to the hospital to get checked where they confirmed my waters had broken, monitored the baby to make sure all was good and gave me the option of going home or staying. As my ideal birth plan was to go into labour naturally and stay at home as long as possible I made the decision to go home. This decision also meant that I wasn’t able to have an internal check in case of infection, so it wasn’t possible to confirm how dilated I was. We scheduled a check-up appointment with the hospital for the following day (Tuesday) at 3.00 pm and they booked me in to be induced on Thursday if my labour hadn’t progressed on its own by then. Once we got home I continued to have mild cramps and they increased in intensity and frequency around 10.00 pm as we were headed to bed. At this stage, my contractions were between 10-15 minutes apart but manageable on my own so I let Patty sleep through the night and I supported myself through them. I tried to sleep but each contraction would wake me so I spent most of the night mindfully breathing and pacing the bedroom. On Tuesday morning at 38+2, it was my birthday. I cancelled any celebration plans and settled into a day at home. We started timing contractions using the Contraction Counter & Time app and they were getting closer to 7-6 minutes apart by 12.00 pm. My best friend came over for lunch, I was able to eat and still hold a conversation at this point. By 3.00 pm my contractions were pretty intense but I was still able to semi-talk through them. We arrived at the hospital for our check-up appointment and I was looking forward to finding out how dilated I was, but they still weren’t able to complete this internal check without admitting me. As we lived only a minute's drive from the hospital our midwife suggested we go back home and wait until my contractions were consistent and 5 minutes apart. I was happy with this decision as I felt most at ease at home and hoped my labour would continue to progress well in this environment. We got home at 4.00 pm and my contractions had become completely unmanageable by this time. I was crying through most contractions and couldn’t find any way to be comfortable, I got to the point where I was curled up on my bed saying I couldn’t do this anymore and I was struggling to find the willpower to continue. As suggested, we called the hospital at 5.00 pm when my contractions reached 5 minutes apart. As this was my first baby the midwife asked if I could stay at home until my contractions were 3 minutes apart. I was apprehensive at first but with limited ability to talk, I agreed to stay at home and somehow continued my labour at home until 6.30 pm. Birth We were admitted into the birthing suite by 7.00 pm where they connected me to the monitoring machine, reviewed my birth plan and offered me the gas to help me through the contractions and assist me with my breathing. I was blown away by how amazing the midwives were, they truly cared about what I wanted and made sure to do everything possible that I outlined in my birth plan. It was 7.30 pm, I was preparing for my first internal check, about to find out how dilated I was and before I could even get on the bed I could feel her head. The lights were dimmed, my baby playlist was on and it was time to push! With the amazing support of my partner and midwives our baby girl entered the world at 8.33 pm on August 23rd 2022, I couldn’t believe she chose to share her birthday with me, it was the best birthday present I could have ever asked for.

"It's all worth it and you've got this!"

Post Birth As soon as Ruby was born she was handed to me to hold and it was the most incredible moment of my life. All the pain stopped in an instant and my whole world was now in my arms. I held her while they injected the oxytocin into my thigh to speed up the delivery of my placenta; it was a painless experience. I continued to hold and nurse Ruby while the doctor came in to examine me for any tears and I was lucky to only have a 1st-degree tear near my urethra. As I didn’t have an epidural, I was given a local anesthetic before the tear was stitched up. At 10.30 pm I handed Ruby to Patty for skin-to-skin contact while I took a shower and freshened up. As I stood in the shower, a large blood clot fell to the ground, an unexpected shock but apparently completely normal. As I continued to wash myself clean, everything felt so surreal and as I replayed the last few hours in my head, all I could do was smile and think ‘oh my gosh I did it, she’s finally here!’ To give us three more time together, they allowed us to stay in the birthing suite until 1.00 am the next day before moving me to the maternity ward. Once moved, Patty went home to rest before returning in the morning. It was now just Ruby and me in a room alone and everything just felt so calm. I watched her sleep all swaddled up and I couldn’t believe that I was now a mum. In the morning I felt better than I ever imagined, recovery was always what I was most scared of and at this moment I knew it was all going to be ok. I couldn’t wait to go home, so I asked if I could be released today, which they later confirmed I could and by 1.00 pm, I was back home with my family in our new little love bubble.

Bringing a baby into this world is an experience like no other, and whatever may be ahead for you just know that it’s all worth it and you’ve got this!